My life 30th September 2010

Life is going no and I am flowing along with it. Eagerly waiting for durga puja and my mum’s visit. Don’t feel like writing daily, don’t know why? May be writing same thing daily is boring J . Had a couple dreams in the past few days, but in all she was there disturbing me. She clouds me like anything and I just can’t ignore her as I still love her as before.

Don’t know when she will stop torturing me in my dreams. I wish it ends soon, but I know her she will not leave me so easily.  

My life 27th September 2010

Didn’t write for 3 days, actually was not in the mood to write something. Life is going on as usual, I wish some changes come along and I see new phases in my life. But I don’t know when changes will come in.

September is about to go away and October to come in. Durga puja is just at the corner, waiting for those 4 days we Bengalis always cherish. I will pray to goddess durga so that she gives happiness to everyone and keep all happy. And yes will ask for my happiness too. I don’t know whether she will bless me with my demands or not but will surely wish that she keep my family safe and happy.

And I wish I find someone too, this time for a life time. Someone sweet and nice, someone caring and understanding. I wish and I hope.

My life 24th September 2010

Today was a nice day but got a bad news, someone I knew is no more with us. She was close to my mum. Mum is very upset we all are. She was suffering from cancer. We all wish that she rest in peace.

God is unpredictable, I just don’t understand why he has to take away people who are young and can live more with their families. When I will face him I will definitely ask this question.

Rest I am fine the back ache is gone now yippee.

I wish a better tomorrow and no more sad news.

Today 22nd September 2010

Suffering from acute back ache, can’t sit nor sleep it’s horrible.  Hope to get well soon.

Nothing much to write.

My life 21st September 2010

As usual it’s raining whole day and night. Was listening to a nice song from yet to be release movie Anjaana Anjaani.

Tujhe bhula diya is the song. Don’t know it connects me, as if each word is mine. A few lines from the song:

“Kaali kaali khaali raaton se
Hone lagi hai dosti
khoya khoya in raahon mein
Ab mera kuch bhi nahi
Har pal her lamha, main kaise sehta hoon
Har pal her lamha main khud se yeh kehta rehta hoon

Tujhe bhula diya, oh,
Tujhe bhula diya, oh
Tujhe bhula diya, oh
Phir kyun teri yaadon ne
Mujhe rula diya.. oh
Mujhe rula diya .”

Really “tujhe bhula diya par kyun teri yaado ne mujhe rula diya”, as this happens a lot to me. I don’t know I just start crying without reasons. But when I think deep I see that actually I was thinking about her, as her thoughts simple don’t go away or fly off out of the window.

I think it’s difficult or rather impossible to forget true love, as it tries to find its way in and out of our heart.

My life 20th September 2010

Yesterday night I had a strange dream. Previously I had watched emotional atyachar episode in internet. And in my dream I was in it, and my girlfriend wanted to check whether I really love her or not. I think I passed the test as I could see that she is holding my hands, but strange I was crying like a baby. I kept repeating take whatever tests you want to take but never leave me alone and go away, and I kept crying and I got up from my dream and I was also crying in real, I was surprised and amazed what is happening to me. As if I had water tanks attached to my eyes and water was overflowing. I wish I could remember or see the person who was my girlfriend in dream, but no clue who she was. I was all wet in tears, I think I cried more than what I cried when my last love left me.

I don’t want to see such dreams; they are so sad and makes people cry like babaies.

Day passed nothing else to say.

My life 19th September 2010

It was raining cats and dogs whole night and day. All my plans were scrubbed.  Whole day at home was so boring. There was nothing to do only chat with friends online and play games, listen to music, same old routine.

Kept on thinking about someone when we were together, no weekend was boring. 

My life 18th September 2010

I am better no more fever no more cough, yes sometimes but less. Was a good day don’t know why I felt nice and calm inside, no past memories to haunt me or sad tales. Just dreamt about my life and my existence. I kept thinking I deserve good and god will definitely reward me with a good soul mate, I believe this don’t know whether it will be true or it will only remain a dream.

I am losing weight, well for me; at least some beautiful girls will look at me if not all.

I wish for a better tomorrow. God bless and keep everyone I know well and happy for ever.

My life 17th September 2010

Today I am much better; I think I will be fine soon. The day is good.

Still weak but better J.

My life 16th September 2010

Wrong date late post Still down with viral, fever, cough, god make me well soon. Or send a caring person to my life who will care for me and also will lend her shoulder to me for support.

I need her now and I don’t know where she is? I wish I knew. Again a cloudy day but I wish no rains please, it’s too much now.

So weak and no energy seriously viral is awful and it attacks me most, don’t know why?

Fever  fever  fever L

Hope to get well soon.

My life 14th September 2010

Today was a sunny day but I am down with viral, no energy to do anything, just sleeping and dreaming. Hope to get well soon, wish I had someone with me who would have taken care of me. Like to put my head on her shoulder when not feeling well, her lovely simple smile to say I am here, I wish these dreams become true for me.

I wish I feel better tomorrow.

My life 13th September 2010

Yesterday didn’t feel like writing something. Yesterday it was out and out rainy day and I think it will be same today. Yesterday was average, only good part is I did some shopping.

I still don’t know what will be today’s verdict as the day has just started, and I think it will start to rain soon. Yesterday faced a lot of problems with my internet connection don’t know why there is no solution the problem. Today is start of a new week and I wish as well as hope that it will be good.

It rained and rained had to skip gym, awful day. It’s true that what we think about really don’t happen, but what we don’t think about, comes along easily in our life. Be happy live happy.

My life 11th September 2010

Today is Eid and Ganesh chaturthi I wish everyone great festive moments. The day started and as usual it is raining, awful was thinking of going out but don’t know whether any plans will be successful or not.

I think today will be a better day than tomorrow. Today I am not sad or emotional as it is generally one day affair for me, as compared to my past, but I keep thinking what happened to me. Why I am still attached to her when she is long gone and happily married to someone else. I think its love which we cannot erase from our life; it will stay on as a memory till the day we die. Sometimes they get erased but traces do remain.

I think we should not wish for a lot in our life, I made a mistake I wished for a lot, had a lot of dreams, which I realize now is only a dream in reality.

Love is life and life is all about love.

My life 10th September 2010

The day was sad for me, as today I saw a new picture of her and I was really sad. She was exactly how I dreamt about her after marriage in bangles chuda , I just loved the picture but what to do she belongs to someone else now, and I have to live with it in this life. I wish I can make her mine in my next life.

Rest it was as usual as every day, only emotional.

I hope and wish I have a better tomorrow.

My life 9th September 2010

Today was a good day for me. Today everybody appreciated me for losing my weight and trying to be in shape. I wish I will live up to everybody’s expectations. Trying hard every day in gym to get back in shape. I hope I will succeed.

There was rain now and then over all a fine day. There is nothing much to write today, I wish I will have more to say tomorrow. Till then.

My life 8th September 2010

Today was a rainy day. The day was good, I was happy. But I was thinking why people say lies, when they can say the trust and gain more respect. I don’t know but I can never lie to any one , I know is a negative part of my life as I have lost regarding that , so it’s my perception.

I picture myself to everyone as I am every day, without changing myself. I expect from others same, but it’s not the same way everyone thinks. I think in today’s world lies pay more than truth. I cannot bear liars, I hate them and will hate always.

Hope I see a better tomorrow.

My life 7th September

Today got up late, it was a bright sunny day, I was happy at last no rains. But as time went by dark clouds came over head and it started to rain. A small memory came back to me from past, once when she was with me we  decided to go out for a movie, but as soon as we started to move heavy raining started and we both got wet, it was  a lovely experience to get wet in rain with your love. I enjoyed that moment with her so much and I will not forget the moment ever in my life. I love rains I think that’s the reason, I love to get wet in rain, and it’s an amazing experience.

Don’t know why her memories cloud my mind now and then. I wish some else come to my life and erase those, so that I can live happily with new memories.

Again it’s raining in the afternoon; don’t know when we will see the sun again. I think Mr. Sun has gone for a vacation somewhere in the universe. Let’s hope tomorrow will be a bright sunny day.

My life 6th September 2010

Once again day started with raining, but hopefully didn’t continue the whole day. The day was more or less boring. Today I failed to control my diet; I think I have to work out more tomorrow.

I am thinking what should I write about today, but nothing is popping up.

Never the less wish all my friends and loved ones be happy.

My life 5th September

When I opened my eyes at 8 am it was raining heavily, I was upset as I decided to go out with my friend.  Today is teacher’s day and I respectfully prayed to god for all the teachers who have taught me great values about life, so that I can live a great life. Hopefully the rain stopped in the afternoon. Went to a mall, bought a new pair of glasses. Had good food like fish fry one of my favorite then mutton roll, awesome food.

Yes we were also looking at girls, specially the beautiful ones, but never had the courage to talk with them; no matter we were happy just by looking at them.  Hope so someone like them will be my Soule mate one day.

More or less I enjoyed the day very much and yes I wish for a better tomorrow.

My life 4th September 2010

Was listening to few sad songs and one of them made my eyes full of tears TUM DIL KE DHAADKAN, the words of this song is so emotional that search for love which is lost in time, but still there is hope that true love sometimes do come back, but it’s rare. In our world people who go away or leave never returns, this is the fact of our life. I too sometimes live in my own world my own dreams which only I can see and no one else and there I see my beloved in my arms, but when the dream breaks its painful.

I wish and hope love be with all.

My life 3rd September

Today was a beautiful day, felt good from the time the day started. Morning was sunny afternoon was cloudy and rain. Today watched a beautiful sweet movie LETTERS TO JULIET”. The movie showed that true love never dies and it makes efforts to unite loved ones, even though 50 years passed by, still love remains and its always young as it was when it started the first time. But I still wonder that whether in real life such stories exist or not? Because movies always have happy endings but real lives don’t. Love just grows in heart it cannot be created it’s a miracle which comes to light on its own will, and disappears without saying a word. Sometimes we cannot even notice when love came and when it left us, it’s the emptiness after that makes us think how beautiful love is.

I wish and pray that all true lovers in this world grow old with their loved ones and no one is separated ever, but still it is my wish, I hope it becomes true for everyone.

Hope for another beautiful day tomorrow.

My life 2nd September

Was listening to the song “Tuh Hi Haqeeqat”, and kept on thinking she was made for me and I think there is some mistake that she is no more with me. Why such feelings thought cloud my mind don’t know, may be the love and emotions still strong. Though I know from my heart the in this life I have lost her , I wish in my next life I will not lose her again. And I wish my mind and I wish my mind and heart both understand this. Actually it is easy to say move on but its difficult when u apply , yes its easy when u never had love in your heart, but if you had true love it is the most difficult task to do on earth.

I wish for a better tomorrow.

My life 1st September

Wow times flies like anything, it never waits for anyone. Seems like yesterday the year started and today it’s already passed the 9^th month. The day was average today. The weather was good, cloudy and cool breeze flowing. And also got a number of calls for job, that’s the best for me today.

In the morning watched the movie sex and the city. It shows about relations and love. Really if love is true and even though there are problems in a relationship it will never drift away from each other. It may stay dormant or it may avoid each other but finally it will come back for you. Love is great and it finds it ways. Nice movie teaches the value of love and relationships and how it breaks and joins when it’s true from heart.

I wish I too get true love in life, I think it’s everybody’s dream.

Hope for a better day tomorrow.