My life 31st August 2010

Today was a good day, as usual nothing special happened. Was emotional today don’t know why, old memories clouded my mind a lot.

I wish I will get to live a better life tomorrow.

My life 30th August 2010

The started with a terrible headache after a long time, but I was fine after taking medicines. Today got a lot of call for day job; let’s see if something cooks up for me my fingers are crossed. Overall the day was good. But to my surprise got call from my ex-girlfriend don’t know why felt good and sad. But I didn’t felt like talking much so kept the phone down and never called back, even she didn’t. Now I don’t care because people have not cared for me and I was stupid to care for them with everything with true love, they never gave value to my love so I will not care for those people.

But I still wish to god to keep them happy whole life. I will never want to see or hear that they are unhappy or sad, as I will not be able to bear it.

I still wonder where the road goes for my life??????

My life 29th August 2010

Today 29^th August 2010

It was a usual day boring was at home, slept the whole day. Had nothing to do.

The day was not good so nothing much to write. Looking for tomorrow , hope it will be a better day.

Lots of thought came to my mind about her and the good old days we spent together when i was flying on cloud 9. Then again its past and i am living in the present and will design my future.

I wish someone come to my life and stay there forever.

My life 28th August 2010

Today 28^th August 2010

I woke up in the morning it was a beautiful day bright and sunny. As usual had my breakfast. Then called my friend whether we can join for some fun usual stuff going out, have good food and come back, yes look at beautiful girls and dream. Watched inception, what beautiful movie brilliant concept and story. Really building your own world in your own dream and living in it, it’s like friction.

Saw a lot of beautiful girls and dreamt like the movie inception that they were there in my dreams, but we are living in real world here dreams break more than they are made.

I wish one day a girl will come out of my dreams to this real world and will grow old with me.

We had ice-cream and popcorn and enjoyed the evening.  I had broken dreams and I am building them again just I need an architect who can design them with beautiful meaning and colors.

I wish I have a colorful day tomorrow and yes I wish I see lots of sweet dreams and build my own world in my dreams.

My life 27th August 2010

It started with a bright sunny day…….at last no rains what a relief. But day started with a sad note my mum is not well, prayed to god to make a well soon. And I know she will be fine soon.

And then again rain started in the afternoon, had to skip gym.

Was listening to the song “on time”, it says

 “Who can say where the road goes
where the day flows? Only time
and who can say if your love grows
as your heart chose?
Only time”

It’s correct we really don’t know where the road of our life goes until we reach the specific destinations, but yes time can tell as it is time which leads us to our destinations in our life. And love we don’t know when it starts growing for someone when your heart starts feeling for someone we don’t know until we start feeling love inside. But yes when time wants that special someone should be with us they are just sailed and we see them in front of us. But sometimes I do wonder why loved ones are parted from us and we are left alone once again. And again time heals the pain sometimes it heals through love.

Too much emotional stuff…I need fresh air. 

Let’s see where the road of my life lead me J

My life 26rd August 2010

Its cloudy today, I think it will rain againL.  But the day turned out to be sunny yippee I am so happy.

The day was good, went out and then office…ohh I hate nite job, don’t know when I will get a day break.

Life is more than happy right now, at least trying to be happy. Thinking of becoming selfish and lead my own life but then again it’s not in my blood. Her thoughts didn’t create problems for me today the fact is I didn’t think about her for a single second. I pray to god that this be the way of life, as her thoughts create clouds in my mind and don’t let me think about others and live my life happily. I have decided to live my life as best as I can and I will see myself happy in life.

Then again love is life and life is all about love and I believe this. I am happy today.

My life 25th August 2010

Today is Wednesday 25^th August 2010

The day didn’t start well…..my computer broke I had to fix it. I hope and wish I will work fine. Then my antivirus broke and I had to fight with it to fix it. I think today is not as good as yesterday, lets see what the rest of the day has in stored for me.

And again it’s raining today L.

The day was good. Watched Sweet November what a beautiful movie, now I believe love can change anything in life. Love is life and life is all about love.

My life 24th August 2010

Today is Tuesday 24th august 2010
The day just started………………… It’s raining and raining “rain rain go away “sunshine is more than welcome now. The day is dull don’t know why feeling a bit lonely, may be missing someone, but I don’t know who. May be someone from my dreams or someone whom I loved. Don’t know who? I wish everyone I know be happy but don’t know when I will be really happy in life, I will smile openly from my heart, as now its fake smile I am smiling. I was listening the song Ehsaan, brought tears to my eyes, u simply cannot forget the person u loved truly or when u had true love. People don’t understand the value of true love now a days, I think people have forgot what love really is. I wish true love do exists in today’s world I get it in this life time of mine. Started working out again after two weeks it feels good. Now I have to control the food. Watched a beautiful movie “A lot like love”, u need to believe in love and it will guide u to happiness. The day was good as usual now I look forward for tomorrow, don’t know what it’s going to bring for me.

My life 23rd August 2010

Today Monday 23rd august 2010,
i was thinking why i am thinking about my past when my future is much more brighter :). 

but still again her memories………………….

the day had began its raining from morning……i like rain but daily its awful :(…

had my breakfast applied for jobs…lets see how it treats me today :)

I promise myself today that I will not take junk food from now on. I need to keep myself healthy and its one of my assumptions why she left me.

Good news came to my ears one of my friends has got engaged, but the way she told she was not happy. I wish she becomes happy in her life.

Today I watched the move THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS and I think when u have the will u will have the way. I wish I have determination and courage like Chris Gardner.

Today was a good day and wish for a beautiful day tomorrow.

My life

I started my life on 8th June 1980 Sunday, the day i came to earth. i stared growing old started to learn life. Spent my childhood without friends alone. Made a few when i was 13, but then again just friends. i was happy alone but still felt emptiness.

One day i gradually reached class 10 the year i appeared for board exams. Scored a minimum of 60% but still didn't loose hope, joined a different school. Again 2 years passed its 1999 and i have to again appear for board and again scored a minimum of 60%.

i lost hope, but somehow again confidence and joined college. my first interaction with computers , it was dream for me and i was happy.

Completed graduation completed masters, now time to join some company and time to grow in life.

Then someone came along in life i met her in orkut. i thought i found my life partner, i was very happy but soon the happiness turned into sad story of my life as my parents didn't like her. i tried my best but she lost hope and left me. i was broke i was crying and i was not happy.

Then i met my old school friends all of a sudden and i was so happy. We had a great reunion. i was happy i found my friends back as i had only one friend. Now i have 4 friends.

few months passed again someone came along she was very young compared to me....i fell in love but she didnot understand my feelings as she was very young but she became a very good friend of mine. i was sad but didn't lose hope. Again a few months passed.

i met someone new in internet, she was behind a mask when she introduced herself. i become friends with her and would wait every day when i will go back home after office and i will chat with her. i used to talk so many things, we even got married on internet, yea its funny but it’s true.

Then suddenly one day she told me whatever she told me is lie, and introduced her real self. I was happy and surprised. I became more close to her. I began to like her so much but didn't have the courage to tell her. I kept on chatting and would wait eagerly for her to come online.

Finally on a cold December winter she asked whether i can meet her. I was over joyed that i will meet the person i like so much in my life.

i waited for her call, and when the phone rang i was so excited that the phone fell from my hands :) i picked it up and talked with her. for the first time i heard her voice.

i got dressed as good as i could and went to meet her. i waited and finally she arrived. she looked beautiful with a gorgeous smile. i smiled back as i was the happiest person on earth.

We spend few hours and it was late and i could allow her to go home alone i went along with her and returned back after she went inside her home. She didn't looked back.

We began meeting each other too often, i will used to wait when weekend will come and i will meet her.

I the mean time i got an opportunity to go to US and work. i told her and she was very happy.

Finally one day i proposed her and she told she is my good friend. I didn't said anything and accepted. i was as before didn't changed. 

The day to leave for US was nearing and i had made it up in my mind that i cannot live without her, because now i loved her more than anything in this world. We met for the last time before leaving for US. She knew what i had in my mind but i never got the courage to speak my heart out. Now she was about to leave i said bye and waited till i cannot see her, but again she never turned back.

One way back home i messaged her i love you. she called back and scolded me and asked why i hesitated to say it in front of her, i said i am sorry but i cannot live with you, finally she said those words which i was hoping to hear for ages those three special word which can change any ones world in a second. She said i love you. i was so happy that i could not stop myself from crying. i was happy i was flying on cloud 9 but i was sad i could not meet her. i left for US. i promised her i will not let you feel alone a single day.

I called her at night day here in India and again in morning. but long distance relationships do create gaps and one such gap came between us and she fought with me for the first time ever. i was very sad. i called her and said sorry, messaged her but no response from her. Finally after 2 days she called me back and said i miss u and i can’t stay here alone without you. i felt very sad.

 i was happy as i was finally in her arms.

and she kissed me for the first time. it was sweet it was beautiful i felt like i was in heaven. i had dreams, dreams which were beautiful.

unfortunately, aunty didn’t like me and later came to know she has asked her to leave me. i was flying on the clouds now i fell down from the skies. 

few months passed, one day i received a call from an unknown number. it was her father. he asked who i was. i said the truth without hiding anything. i was tensed, i was more tensed.

she was upset and she was not happy with me as she didn't expected i will tell the true events, she thought i will lie, but don’t know why i didn't.

she stopped talking with me. i was sad and upset. she was not picking my phone. i asked her to meet me and somehow she agreed. i was happy that i will make things better between us. but my luck was not good she said she was not happy with me, saying so she left me. i was very sad.

i tried my best to contact her but she never turned up. i took help from her friend, she too tried a lot but failed.

i got job in one of the best companies in the world, but i was not happy as i was separated from my life.

again winters came and it was 25th somehow her friend arranged a call. i called her with lots of hopes and dreams.

i was wrong she abused and insulted me like which i had never faced in my life. the ground beneath me just exploded and i felt no legs.

i left disheartened. new year came and i was the so  sad more than anyone else. my dreams are shattered hopes broken. but the love for her in my heart never became less.

tried and tried for 10 months was insulted in every way possible still had a hope she will return. Then one day saw her picture in facebook i was over joyed, but sad and i cried as she was engaged and she was there with her fiancée. now she will never come back was the only thought in my mind. but still my love for her was same.

A few months passed and now at present she is happily married to someone she love. Things changed people changed and it happened so quick  that i still wonder where was i wrong ? i question which has no answers. why she left me? a question with no answer. i have assumptions but then again they are just assumptions.

i still wake up at night and think " i wish she was here with me now" but is a thought and nothing more.

i am still living the life i was living when she was with me but now i am all alone.

i have a wish that she comes back to me, but it’s cruel to think such a thing as i cannot destroy a family specially when it belongs to someone i love.

Months passed many came and went but no one left a print in my heart which she did.

i don’t know whether i will be able to forget her ever in this life but i wish i get her again in my next life. i let go my love for her happiness.